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bridging the GAP> |
PARENTS JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND
By Hope Hyder
 A common theme amongst most teenagers is the belief that parents just don't understand. Is this true? If you say yes and you are frustrated with constant misunderstandings between you and your parents then you should know you can do something about it!
If you want your parents to make an effort to understand you, then you should try make an effort
to understand your parents. You don't have to wait for them to take the lead.
So before you decide once and for all that your parents will never see where you are coming from remember that you can take the lead too. Here are some ideas to get you started:
Get to know your parents...
Your parents are people too! This may sound strange but they had a whole life of experiences before you were born. They have interests and dreams just like you do. Do you know what kind of music your parents like or what is their favorite food? Do you know what your parents do at work? Do you know what they dreamed of being when they grew up? Do you know what makes them happy? Do you know what kind of movies or books they enjoy? Do you know any of the things that they look forward to experiencing? These are just a few of the questions you can ask your parents to get to know them better. Take some time to come up with questions of your own. When you are with your friends ask them what questions they would ask their parents if they had the chance. You may find that you have more in common with your parents than you think. Or you may learn something about them you never knew. Hang out with your parents. Treat your parents to a movie or an ice cream cone. Decide to do things together on a regular basis that you'll both enjoy. This will give them a chance to ask you questions too and get to know you better as a person.
Once upon a time...your parents were teenagers too.
You may think that your parents don't understand you but chances are at one time or another
they have been in your shoes. They were teenagers once also and may have some valuable advice
for you. Ask your parents what life was like for them as teenagers. Did they feel misunderstood by
their parents? What were their concerns at that time? You will learn that they have experienced
some of the same problems as you. Maybe they had the same questions as you do now. Ask your
parents how they talked about a difficult subject with their parents. They may remember how
frustrated they were as teenagers with their own parents. This may help you and your parents find new ways to communicate with each other. Perhaps your parents will see that they are acting the same way their parents did. Maybe they will want to find a new way to respond to you. You can ask your parents for advice based on their experiences as a teenager. You just might discover that your parents understand you more than you ever thought possible.
Open the door to better communication...
If you've tried to talk to your parents and it doesn't seem to be working try something different. How about writing a letter? In a letter you can get your feelings, questions and concerns
out without interruption. Writing a letter will force you to be clear about what you want to say.
Writing words on the page may make it easier to say things that may be hard to say face to face.
Your parents may write you a letter back or choose to talk to you about your letter. Either way
you have been heard and will feel better. Your parents will see that you have taken the time to
express yourself so that they can understand you more. They will see that you are concerned and
value what they think and what they have to say. Because you opened up your parents may be
encouraged to open up too! If you are a parent and you want to share your feelings with your daughter or talk about your relationship with your daughter, let us know. tell us
If you are a young lady and you feel your parent doesn’t understand you, let us know. Tell us what and why you think they don’t understand. tell us
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